Dear Fashion,
I am not going 2 lie. I am very intrigued that u still keep me interested in u. I am just very confused right now & I need a little bit more time 2 figure things out. I thought I was completely done with u after our last encounter but, I'm beginning 2 see another side 2 u that makes me want 2 believe that we can work things out. I'm just tired of this emotional roller coaster that u have me on. I guess, I was just bored & tired of being restricted 2 how others wanted me 2 love u & deal with u. U know that I'm the type of person who likes 2 think outside the box & not be conformed 2 what one thinks or tell me how should I love u. I am upset that I allowed them 2 extinguished the fire that I had place under my creativity & made me feel uncreative, uninspired & worn out. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't take back the learning experience & all wonderful the things u taught me for anything. I just got so tired of being kicked, beat down, & dragged through the dirt for u & not get really anywhere. All 4 what? Just 2 only find a place in ur world, & now I second guess my creative thinking & over think everything, like I am not good enough 4 u. I just came 2 the realization & a breaking point when u pissed me off when I had my baby 2 years ago. U became jealous & hated that I couldn't devote ALL of my time 2 u, like I used 2. But, as much as I want 2 hate u, I can't completely %100 blame u 4 our break-up. Maybe I should of fought harder. I just needed some time apart 2 see things in a whole new angle & change my approach with u. Maybe I need to take it back to square one & remember what attracted me 2 u in the first place. I guess what it all boils down to, is that I am truly afraid of falling 4 u again & then end up being disappointed...with myself, & not living up 2 ur standards. So let's just take things slow 4 right now & see where it goes.
Thinking things through,
E.
